The Stress of Indecision

"How shall you be fed without the friendship and goodwill of the lands about you?"

I've been paralyzed for awhile now, trying to decide which exercise plan to choose.

First it was a debate between walking (Does it really have an effect? Will it be boring?), running (Is it bad for my joints? Is it trying too much too soon?) and yoga (Can I force myself to actually go to class? Is it too expensive?).

Exercising with others didn't seem to be an option. Being active doesn't come naturally to me, and I end up feeling inadequate and stupid and wanting to quit.

So I decided simply to start with walking by myself. This seemed to simplify matters, and I set out to do it. But you can't feel the difference walking like you can with running and yoga, and that can be demoralizing. Also, it took so much time, since I was always focussed on a destination, most of which are far away.

My walking lasted a week or two, and now it's fallen by the wayside. If I walked, I suddenly didn't have time or energy to clean my apartment or do much of anything besides collapse.

I just can't decide what to do.

Thinking fast wasn't Bilbo's strong suit, either. Normally, the dwarves or Gandalf decided his direction (Do I need a dwarf to point me the right way? I can just imagine Gandalf accompanying me to yoga.). But when it was up to Bilbo, he took a long time thinking the decision over. Often, this thoughtfulness worked to his advantage.

So I continue to contemplate. One solution is to try running in the morning, instead of hanging out at Starbucks. Another seems to be giving exercising with a friend one more shot, as I now have a friend who wants to go on regular walks. Maybe I need the "friendship and goodwill" of the people around me. Maybe accountability will help.

Maybe, as it seems in all things, I need to find a balance. This could mean taking away the pressure of doing something every day. Or it could mean walking with a friend a couple days a week and running alone a couple days.

As in everything, I'm still trying to figure it out.